The Art Of Acceptance | Acceptance is a Great Source of Great Acting

The Art Of Acceptance: Hamlet asks how an actor can cry for an imaginary character in a play when he, Hamlet, with all his motive and passion, cannot cry for his dead father. “What’s Hecuba to him or he to Hecuba / That he should weep for her?”
Metaphorically, great actors accept Hecuba’s importance to them and convince their audiences that their emotions and the circumstances are real. Learning to accept the character and the circumstances is one of the most important steps toward great acting.

The Art Of Acceptance

Acceptance of the imaginary situation as if it were real allows you to be emotionally effective. Acting on film is not reality but a composite of imaginary circumstances and relationships. If someone holds a gun on you, you will have an emotional experience depending on your knowing that the gun is either loaded or unloaded. When you know the gun is loaded, your experience will be different from when you know it is unloaded. This is where you need the ability to accept the unloaded gun as if it were loaded. To put yourself mentally in that circumstance, suspend your judgment and disregard anything that is contradictory to the realness of the situation. Acting is make-believe, and your ability to accept imaginary circumstances determines the truth of your performance. This is The Art Of Acceptance in film acting.

Two of my students—Bob, who is tall and easy-going, and Michelle, who has long black hair and startling blue eyes—do the following scene that forces them both to accept new circumstances.

BOB

. . . Michelle, are you all
right?

MICHELLE

I’m pregnant.
(Embarrassed, she laughs and puts her hands over her face.
Bob’s smile carries into the next line.)

BOB

You’re sure? Those drugstore tests aren’t always . . .
(She avoids making eye contact with him.)

MICHELLE

I saw a doctor. I’m sure.

BOB

It’s up to you. What do you want?

MICHELLE

What about Med. School?

BOB

Forget Med. School. It’s your decision.

MICHELLE

I want you to finish Med. School. I didn’t plan this.

BOB

I know.

MICHELLE

I want the baby. I was so afraid to tell you . . . I love you. I don’t want this to come between us.

JEREMIAH: Michelle what is Bob feeling?

MICHELLE

(to Jeremiah)
He’s angry. He’s going to have to give up Medical School because I’m pregnant

JEREMIAH: Forget all that. Look at Bob’s face. What is he feeling?

MICHELLE

(to Jeremiah)
He has a slight smile.

JEREMIAH: Do you see any anger?

MICHELLE

(to Jeremiah)
No. Not really.

JEREMIAH: Good. What else do you see?

MICHELLE

(to Jeremiah)
He’s loving?

JEREMIAH: Good! Just accept the fact that he’s your husband and he loves you.
Give each other a hug.

(They give each other a hug.)

JEREMIAH: Now do the scene.

BOB

You’re sure? Those drugstore tests aren’t always . . .

MICHELLEI 

saw a doctor. I’m sure.

BOB

What do you want to do?

MICHELLE

What about Med. School?

BOB

(His eyes fill with love.)
Forget Med. School. It’s your
 decision.
(Michelle starts to cry.)

MICHELLE

I want you to finish Med.
 School. I didn’t plan this.
(Bob gives her a hug.)

BOB

I know.

MICHELLE

I want the baby. I was so
 afraid to tell you . . . I
 love you. I don’t want this to
 come between us. . . .

JEREMIAH: (to the class) Michelle had to accept the fact that Bob loves her. She didn’t accept it at first because her logic tried to tell her that a guy would be angry at delaying Med. School. Then her imagination took over and she accepted the situation. The concept of being pregnant became authentic and overwhelmed her. Acceptance allows her genuine feelings to be expressed
within the imaginary circumstances.

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Play the Game

Children like to play. A mother tries to feed her child who presses his lips together and refuses to open his mouth. So she raises the spoon higher and makes the sound of an airplane and zigzags the spoon in front of his face. As she approaches his mouth, the child opens and lets the spoon enter. Children are willing to accept everything as a game. It is fun.

Play Like a Child

Children continually play games in which they accept all sorts of imaginary circumstances. I remember riding a broom and making believe it was a horse. I knew that it wasn’t really a horse, but that didn’t stop me. When I finished riding, I tied my imaginary horse to the banister. Children mimic adult behavior, such as sitting in an empty box pretending it is a car. They learn through playful imitation and imagination. They suspend judgment and act as if imagined things were real—this is the key to practicing the Art of
Acceptance. Good actors accept everything and enjoy playing the games. “Are You Enjoying The Reading Of : ‘The Art Of Acceptance‘ Then Comment On This Article”
As we grow older, we become more socially aware and realize that riding a broom or driving an imaginary car is not something that our peers ordinarily accept. We eventually stop playing “make-believe,” and our outward fantasy lives come to a halt. We become more pragmatic. Our imaginative skills dwindle. We save our fantasies for our inward, private life, and we turn into a respectable member of society. If by some chance we have avoided this path to respectability, we might have the good fortune to become actors. Approach acting as a child. Stop judging the propriety of things and entice yourself into accepting the moment-to-moment reality of imaginary circumstances.
In the movie Basketball Diaries, Leonardo DiCaprio turns in a brilliant performance of a drug addict who needs a fix. Lorraine Bracco is outstanding as his mother. The emotions in this scene are so intense that if they were not real to the actors, the scene would quickly turn into laughable melodrama. To be real to the audience, both actors have to accept the circumstances completely. Jim, played by DiCaprio, knocks on his mother’s (Bracco) apartment door.
(She looks through the peephole, sees her son, then puts the chain on the door before she unlocks it.)

DICAPRIO

Mom! Mom are you in there? Is that you? Mom! Mom!

BRACCO

Yeah.
(Bracco stands to the side of the door so her son can’t see her. It is too painful for her to look at him.)

DICAPRIO

Hi! Hi Mom! Hi! Listen, I need you to help me out. All right. I need you to give me some money . . .
(He spits on the hall floor.)

BRACCO
. . . I can’t help you.

DICAPRIO

Okay, listen. What you got to do is give me some money, Mom.

BRACCO

Jim, I can’t do that.

DICAPRIO

Why not? Mom, you know I’m notgoing to do a thing with it. I just. I need to go out of town for a little while. I got in some trouble . . . So you got to give me some money. Mom, will you hold my hand?

BRACCO

Yeah, . . . I’ll hold your hand.
(He reaches through the door held by the chain. And Bracco holds his hand. She looks at it. He is breaking her heart. She is in a great deal of pain.)

DICAPRIO

Mom can you give me some money? Mom can you give me some money please? Mom please. Don’t fuck around. Mom give me some fuckin’ money please. What are you doing? I’m your son.

BRACCO

I don’t have it.
(She tries to push the door shut.)

DICAPRIO

Mom don’t fuck around.
(She shuts the door.)

DICAPRIO

Come on let me in the fuckin’ door.

(He bangs on the door.)

DICAPRIO

Ahrrr . . . Oh fuck.
(He starts to cry.)

DICAPRIO

Let me in. I need some money, I need some money real bad. Oh fuck Oh . . .
(Bracco picks up the phone.)

BRACCO

Officer, someone is breaking into my apartment. They have a knife.
(She reaches into her purse and pulls out a ten-dollar bill. She is contemplating giving it to DiCaprio.)

DICAPRIO

Oh Oh . . . You don’t know what you’re fucking doing to me. I’m in pain. How can you do that to your son. You Bitch! You fuckin’ Bitch!!!
(He pounds on the wall. Screaming in pain. He cries.)

DICAPRIO

I won’t do anything. I’ll be a good boy Mom. I’ll be good if you let me in . . .

READ MORE: The Art of Not Knowing | The Art Of Film-Theare

DiCaprio has accepted the fact that his character needs a fix and is in pain. To play the game, he has to start the scene in real agony. His mother, played by Bracco, knows she can’t give him money because he will blow it on dope. This is a scene that has all the makings of a cornball, melodramatic stinker. He asks his mother to hold his hand. He becomes childlike. He gets angry, begs, cries, even punches the door, and curses his mother. She goes through a different flood of emotions: fear, love, and tears. His pleading almost forces her into giving him money, but when he gets angry and calls her a bitch she changes her mind and calls the police. Actors in scenes like this often go over the top, but here the full acceptance of the circumstances by the two actors makes them both real and the scene authentic. The director Martin Ritt once said, in reference to an actor’s performance that went over the top, “You don’t have to tone anything down that is real.”

Trust the Roller Coaster

Trust is the self-confidence to surrender control. When you get on a roller coaster you trust that you will not be killed, but that does not stop you from being scared. In fact, you want to be scared, or you would not have gotten on in the first place. You are thrown from side to side, hung upside down, dropped several hundred feet in an instant, and every so often you experience the fear that you could be killed. In reality, you know that there is no reason to be scared, but your subconscious overrides your logical brain and you experience fear because your logical mind cannot control those momentary glimpses at death. By accepting the imaginary circumstances and the fear, you are able to hang on and enjoy the ride.

More on Trust

Daniel Goldman, in his book Emotional Intelligence, talks about what he calls emotional hijacking, when you let your emotions override your good sense—for example, if you were to punch your teacher for giving you a B instead of an A. In acting, don’t let yourself have out-of-control experiences. Besides your emotions, nothing is real. If dramas were real, the actor playing Othello would actually kill the actress playing Desdemona. In the 1947 film A Double Life, Ronald Coleman plays a famous actor who lets the role of Othello take over both his onstage and offstage lives. He crosses the line between imagination and reality and is stopped at the last minute from actually killing Desdemona onstage. “Are You Enjoying The Reading Of : The Art Of Acceptance” Then Comment On This Article”.
Your conscious mind knows the outcome of a story’s plot, but your subconscious mind experiences it only moment by moment; so give your subconscious mind freedom to experience emotions. Your conscious mind stays out of the way, but it sets boundaries for keeping things safe. Trust allows you to have emotional experiences with safety. In my studio, I want actors to have lifeheightened, subconscious, imaginative experiences. This means that you can touch anyone in a loving way. You can hug, kiss, hold hands, stroke them; but you can never cross the line between imagination and reality to be violent, push, slap, punch, or take any action that is not planned and agreed on ahead of time. Violence causes loss of trust between you and your fellow actors. They will think you are out of control and unprofessional. Always respect your fellow actors.

Having Fun

If you love being a show-off—pretending, playing, doing childish things, taking off your emotional underwear in front of the world—then acting is the profession for you. Great actors find enjoyment in everything that challenges them mentally, physically, or emotionally. Katharine Hepburn said she
loved being in Africa while making The African Queen, even though the living conditions were terrible and dangerous. She found it stimulating. Acting is for creative, off-the-wall, interesting, physiologically sound nutcases who have never grown up. To be an actor, it is helpful if you are able to make an idiot of yourself in public without worrying about it. If you can’t fail, you can never reach brilliance. Sir Laurence Olivier said that acting is “not an occupation for adults.” Have fun.
Danny is an eighteen-year-old beginning actor. He is doing a scene with Michelle, a twenty-one-year-old college student. His youth makes him slightly uncomfortable working with a woman a few years older than he is, and his nervousness keeps him from accepting her as a love interest. This makes the Relating Exercise look stilted and unbelievable.

MICHELLE
Oh, Hi! You’re in Mr. Murray’s class?

DANNY

Yeah.

MICHELLE

You’re the student that got the 98 on the test, aren’t you?
(Danny is nervous. Michelle reaches over and tries to hold his hand. Danny uncomfortably ignores her touch.)

DANNY

It was an easy test.

JEREMIAH: What did she just do, Danny?

DANNY

(to Jeremiah)
She’s freaking me out. She grabbed my hand.

JEREMIAH: Do you find her attractive?

DANNY
(to Jeremiah)
Yeah. I’ll say.

JEREMIAH: Then accept the fact that she is holding your hand.


DANNY

(to Jeremiah)
But this is class, and outside
 she would never even talk to
me.
(Jeremiah stands and goes behind Danny’s back. He signals
 Michelle to give Danny a kiss.)

MICHELLE

(to Danny)
Everyone says you’re a genius.
(Michelle kisses Danny.)

DANNY

Like Ted Kaczynski.
(Danny pulls away. He’s afraid of Michelle.)

MICHELLE

(laughs)
Are you?
(Michelle kisses him again. Danny giggles.)

DANNY

I hope not.

JEREMIAH: Danny, kiss her back.

MICHELLE

No. I mean a genius.
(Danny gives her a peck on the lips.)

JEREMIAH: What was that?

(Danny looks at Jeremiah. He tries again. Michelle gives him
 a kiss. Finally he surrenders and accepts that she is kissing
 him. He starts enjoying what Michelle is doing.)

DANNY

What is your major?

MICHELLE

Bio. I’m thinking about being
a vet.
(Danny kisses Michelle. Michelle responds.)

DANNY

That’s harder than getting into medical school.

JEREMIAH: Danny, see how natural that last line was. (to the class) Finally, Danny accepted that she took him seriously and that she kissed him. (to Danny) You started to play the game when you kissed her back. Did you have fun?

DANNY

(nervously giggles)
She kissed me.

JEREMIAH: Did you have fun?

DANNY

Yes. I guess I did. Can we do it again?
(The class laughs.)

I let both actors do the scene over. They now have an emotional connection that is stronger the second time.

JEREMIAH: (to Danny) I know you were frightened at first, but when you accepted that Michelle liked you, your fear dissipated. You started to enjoy her. Danny, when you surrendered and had fun with Michelle, you became intimate—you shared feelings—we believed you, and we enjoyed your performance. (to the class) The Five Arts are connected in such a way that when you follow one, the others automatically fall in place. Concentration, Not Knowing, Giving and Receiving, Acceptance, and Relating. They are all interrelated. Break one and you probably lose the others.

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Sets and Locations Are Real

In Hamlet, Horatio describes exactly where and what the audience should visualize through the imagery of language:

Horatio:
But look, the morn, in russet mantle clad, Walks o’er the dew of yon high eastward hill

Hamlet, Act I, Sc1

Through language Horatio evokes imaginative images that tell the audience the place, the time, and the weather conditions of the scene. This is a convention of theater. In film, the set and the location are almost always realistic. The camera can photograph the actual dew lifting off yon high eastward hill. You don’t need imagination to create the setting, but you do have to accept the situation as if it were real. On film you have to react to this eerie place and give us insight into what you have just experienced.

Unlike the stage, reality on film is essential for believability. Everything has to look real. The set is often the actual location, and the props, costumes, and actors are as close as possible to those of real life. You merely have to accept yourself and your surroundings, relate to the other actor, and say your dialogue.
The director and camera operator will take care of the rest.

In The Films of John Huston, John McCarty writes that Bogart’s shivers on screen in The African Queen when he is reacting to the clinging bloodsucker are as real as are the leeches, which Huston imported and placed on the actor’s skin to give the scene an extra dimension of toughness and truth. After Bogart
won that year’s Best Actor Academy Award, Huston told him, “It’s like I said, kid. Real leeches pay off.”

Sometimes the actual air temperature and the look of the set may be incompatible, and you may need a lot of imaginative acting to make the scene believable. You might shoot a desert scene in winter’s freezing weather, but the movie requires you to act as if it were hot. To give the appearance of heat, even though you are freezing, the makeup department may help a little by spraying water on your face to look like sweat. In any case, you have to accept the fact that you are sweltering. The audience’s imagination supplies the missing element—heat. Temperature and climate can require imaginative acceptance when you are in the movies.

READ MORE: The Art of Concentration | The Amazing Power Of An Actor

The Art Of Acceptance-Summary

Accepting the imaginary character and the situation as if they were real allows you to be emotionally effective on film. Here’s how to develop the Art of Acceptance.

1. Play the game. Acting is a game; be willing to participate.
2. Play like a child. Learn to play without adult inhibitions. Stop judging.
3. Trust.
   a. You are safe physically and emotionally.
   b. Don’t be afraid to make an idiot of yourself.
   c. Respect your fellow actor.
4. Surrender the “I”—I can’t, I won’t, etcetera. Just do it!
5. Have fun. Great actors enjoy acting.